I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
