But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
