I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
