is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
