Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
