I feel like abortions should bother me more
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
