lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
