We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
