Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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