You just made me feel so damn special
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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