They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
