Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
