You don't have asthma, your pregnant
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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