Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
