We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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