Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
