the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
