After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
