this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize