You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Small penises have feelings too.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize