Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
