I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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