The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
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