i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
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the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
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I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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