hotel room ftw
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
