Got a toothbrush?
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
