I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize