I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize