I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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