Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
