Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
