Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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