You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
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I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
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I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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