Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon