You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom