I think my fart just growled at me.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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