The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
