I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
