Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
