Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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