is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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