We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Randomize
