I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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