it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
