Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I am never drinking with the goths again.
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