Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
