I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
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I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
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