is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Randomize
