he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
how drunk are you?
Several
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
