We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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