you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.