Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Randomize
