I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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