Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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