You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
