I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize
