: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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