he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Randomize
