I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize