what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
