You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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