Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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