oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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