I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I supernannyed him into submission
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
